Blind spots are a bitch

I don’t know where you are in life right now, financially or otherwise, but I’d be willing to bet that you have moments where you think, is this where it’s at? Is this as good as it gets?

I too have those moments.

Moments where I wonder how I got here … to this place, in this situation, in this relationship, to the work I do.

As I wonder I am quick to realize that sometimes I feel really good about where I am and who I am … and other times, not so much. Instead I feel confused, conflicted,  and at a loss … even though I think I’m clear about what I want.

Blind spots.

If you are asking how life is one way and not another … if you think you deserve more or better … if you question how you can feel great one moment and horrible the next … if your relationships are stressed (which may include the one you have with money) … then you too, have blind spots.

Blind spots are pieces of you that you have yet to see. Not because you can’t see but, because you choose not to – it’s too uncomfortable.

It’s like you know that there’s something awry … in a relationship, or your business, or your finances … and it’s bringing you down or causing upset.  BUT – you keep thinking the problem is the relationship, or with your work, or your employer, or your finances. Yet the problem has nothing to do with any of those things.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from shedding light on my own blind spots is that I am never upset for the reasons I think … ever.

Here’s something else … as much as I’d like to think that I know myself and that I know what I want, my blind spots show me otherwise. My blind spots remind me that I know nothing. That’s right, nothing.

And I’m ok with that because the good news is, I can use my blind spots to my advantage … and so can you!

It was about 15 years ago when I was practicing Nicherin Buddhism and when I first learned of “blind spots”. It was also when I was introduced to the term shakabuka and fell in love with it’s meaning. Shakabuku is to “cause an awakening” … and “to enable a person to believe in the great, unrealized potential of their life”.

Shakabuku works through your blind spots. In other words, every upset you experience is a call for you to shed light on what’s really causing your distress (your blind spot) and thus open you up to realizing your power and potential.

I can still hear my girlfriend and client, the one that introduced me to Nicherin Buddhism, say to me, “You’ve been shakabuku’ed!” – and then we would laugh! We would laugh because whatever it was that I was hiding from myself, whatever it was that I had been refusing to see, would turn out to be a big fat lie. What I thought was such a big, painful deal, would end up a wonderful opportunity to see myself in a more loving way.

Blind spots don’t have to be a bitch. Every upset, doubt, or worry is nothing more than something within you that wishes to be seen so that it can be forgotten. When we can forget (forgive) our blind spots, we remember more and more of who we really are … and from there, life really does get easier – and better!

 

Got blind spots around you and money? Check out this event …

Upcoming event in Buffalo NY … January 21st 2017 – “Think like a Rebel, Live like a Queen: The Master Class” – for more information go to https://livelikeaqueen.eventbrite.com

 

Silence in the Gaps – Guest blogger Brooke Becker

Ever meet someone and feel as though you’ve known them a long long time? Instant connection, right?

That’s what it was like when I met Brooke Becker, guest blogger of That Money Girl. Brooke and I share similar life stories and experiences as well as a love for seeking truth in relationships … whether the relationship is with a person, money, your work, or even yourself.

Please enjoy Brooke’s piece on “Silence in the Gaps – an article and poem”. And be sure to get to know Brooke … her website link is below. 🙂

~Christine

Silence in the Gaps …

The gaps in life … those interminable periods of silence with no interaction, no activity, alone with one’s thoughts. Those gaps are where we can find our self, our truth, and even as Dr. Wayne Dyer has stated … our bliss. Continue reading “Silence in the Gaps – Guest blogger Brooke Becker”

How do I get off this Roller Coaster with money?

When I was a young girl I used to love going to Darien Lake and riding the Viper. I would ride that roller coaster over and over. I just couldn’t get enough of it – the thrills, the squeals, and the sensation of my heart dropping into my belly.

Then, sometime around 12 years old, that all changed for me. I couldn’t ride the Viper anymore. I could no longer stomach any ride that involved sharp drops, fast turns, and flipping me upside down. I was officially done with all rides that sent my head into a tailspin rendering me physically sick.

Roughly 10 years later however, I decided to climb aboard another roller coaster ride.

This roller coaster was different … well, at least I thought so initially.

It has some of the same characteristics as the Viper – the slow climbs, sharp drops, wicked fast twists and turns. It will even flip me upside down as it sends me into another spiral.

But this roller coaster’s thrills and excitement come masked as anxiety and frustration … sometimes even anger and disbelief. All of which still leaves me feeling sick.

Funny thing is – I have no recollection of ever having bought a ticket for THIS ride. Even funnier – there have been times when I could have sworn that I had exited to the left to get off the ride, only to realize that I had actually gotten back on for another go around!

Seriously. It’s time to get off this roller coaster ride.

Or is it?

Well … let me tell you what I’m done with first.

I’m done with cheap thrills disguised as sharp income fluctuations and negotiations of self-worth. How about you?

Excitement packaged as financial family drama, meaningless work, and senseless debt cycles are no longer appealing.

You know what I mean, right? This roller coaster is really about having a love-hate relationship with money. Where one moment you’re feeling great about your work and your relationships, you feel great about yourself, what you contribute, and the value you receive. Then minutes later something happens and you find yourself lost in upset, your peace and happiness seemingly stolen.

Love-hate relationships aren’t solely reserved  for those that struggle with debt, lost a job, went through a divorce, or just lost a loved one.

Oh no.

You may be someone that has achieved financial independence yet struggles each day in your work because you aren’t sure that your work is in alignment with your core values, leaving you to question your integrity. You want to spend quality time with your family or your philanthropic endeavors but, your success has swallowed you whole. No matter how much money you make, no matter your contributions, you still feel undervalued and unappreciated … you still reach for more – thinking that more will fill you up instead of leaving you empty.

If any of what I described feels familiar to you, then I would say that you too had purchased a ticket on the same roller coaster ride. And you too, have a love-hate relationship with money … even if it may not appear that way to you. But, don’t let appearances fool you.

You may be asking at this point, how do I get off this roller coaster ride with money?

My answer to you is this …

It’s not about getting off the ride.

It’s about making peace with it.

Think about it. Think about the world in which you live. There are so many factors that are not within your control that trigger these sharp ups and downs.

You can’t control the economy or the market. You can’t control tax policy, insurance regulation, or even who ends up in office. And you certainly cannot control another person and the choices he/she makes.

But, you can control how you respond to everything and everyone that makes up your world.

Which means you have within your control how you choose to see your roller coaster ride.

If there’s anything that I have come to learn so far, it’s that more than likely I’m not meant to get off this roller coaster. The ride will continue because of the kind of world in which I live.

But, I don’t have to feel sick. I can learn to appreciate what this ride is teaching me, about me. What money is teaching me, about me. And how every lesson brings me back to remembering who and what I really am – and that I already have everything.

Here are a few thoughts and ideas to help you make peace while you are experiencing your roller coaster:

  • Stop making it real. Remember – it’s a RIDE. And roller coaster rides do come to a stop before they take off again. Take advantage of those stops by taking the time to reflect on what’s really happening.  Or pretend there’s an imaginary break pedal and apply it. You may not be able to exit the ride but you can slow it down in order to check in with yourself and see what needs to be done to shift your experience. This ride is about YOU … it’s not about money or something else, even though it may look that way.
  • Your love-hate relationship with money can only be one or the other, not both. Either it’s love or it’s hate. Never both at the same time. So if your relationship with money was truly an expression of love and the Real you, imagine what your roller coaster would be like. Would you get sick? No. Instead you might find yourself enjoying every up, down, twist, turn, and flop. Or it simply wouldn’t bother you because you are at peace.
  • More than likely, you are not alone on this roller coaster ride. Who’s with you on this ride? How do they react? Are you owning their reactions? Money has a funny way of either bringing out the best in a person or the worst (there’s that love-hate thing again!) Whether it’s the money or the person seated next to you, remember, YOU put them there. Are they showing you how to believe in yourself? How to own your worthiness? How to trust?

When all is said and done, it’s not about the ride itself. It’s about whether or not you rise above the ride and choose to experience the ride in a better way … a happier, more peaceful way.

Oh … but, don’t be surprised that when you do make peace with your roller coaster ride, you may be given the option to exit!

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Want more where this came from? Please email me at info@christineamathieu.com for information on coaching programs and services.

I’m here to help you heal your love-hate relationship with money by making peace with it, so you can move forward in life happily and purposefully, no matter what’s going on around you or to you.

~C

 

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