I had a client thank me a couple of weeks ago, which is always a wonderful thing! She was so happy with how she and her husband were doing that she offered the idea that part of my coaching practice should be entitled “Money counselling for couples”! I couldn’t agree more! Whether you are married or have a significant other/life partner, it should come to no surprise that money can and does cause stress in relationships. My clients, Clara and James, were no exception…
We had met maybe 4-5 times, things were progressing well during their sessions…and then they abruptly stopped. Intuitively, I knew that we had reached a point in our planning where it was time for my clients to address certain issues on their own…without any outside influences. As it turned out, the “issue” that temporarily put a halt to their planning was children. They discovered that they weren’t exactly on the same page relative to having children, and they knew that in order to move forward, the issue must be addressed.
Clara and James are a young couple, married for just over a year, Clara is a successful business owner, James is a teacher aspiring to obtain his PhD, and they LOVE to travel…alot! At first, their belief was that because they were married, the next “logical” step was to become parents. I think most of us can understand where that belief would come from. Clara and James both came to realize that instead of paying attention to the current “riches” they enjoy and the things they want for their future (business expansion, PhD, travelling), they had been listening to outsiders and stale beliefs. Once they got clear on their core values and had an open, honest conversation about what they REALLY wanted, they determined that having children wasn’t for them.
Imagine how liberating that feels…to tackle a subject like having children, and to come through as an even stronger, more committed, more loving couple! When you explore your relationship with money, whether you are single or in a partnership (marriage, etc.), you give yourself and your partner the opportunity to discover who you are and what you really want.
What I admire most about this couple is that they remain true to themselves, as individuals. It’s so easy to get “lost” in the other person or the partnership, to forget who you are and what makes you happy. You stop doing for yourself. As secure individuals, my clients were more open and willing to work as a couple. And now they are ready to move forward and continue our work, together…
3 thoughts on “Money and Marriage…Happily ever after?”
Great advice from a really great person and friend, YOU…You were able to councel but allow each of these people, to have their authentic perspectives met…
Thank you so much Kathy!! I really appreciate your compliment! 🙂
Your last paragraph was, for me, the most important. As secure “individuals”, they could
move forward……a nice ending.
God made us all “unique”. We shouldn’t have to sacrifice our “uniqueness” for a relationship!
Compromise is a wonderful word!!!! Best wishes to Clara and James…..