I recently met Terry Gaspard, LSW, LICSW on Linkedin, “Inside Divorce” Group. Terry is a licensed therapist, college instructor, and non-fiction writer specializing in divorce and women’s issues. http://movingpastdivorce.com/women-of-divorce/
We had been participating in a lively discussion initiated by the question: “Did you know that women file for divorce 2/3 of the time? Does this surprise you?” I have to say that I am not surprised at all by this statistic, given my own history with divorces and my personal belief that women quite simply, have changed.
In her book “Anatomy of the Spirit”, Caroline Myss writes, “Not surprisingly, our fourth chakra culture has seen a nationwide increase in divorce. The opening of the 4th chakra has transformed the archetype of marriage into the archetype of partnership. As a result, most contemporary marriages require a strong sense of “self” for success, rather that the abdication of “self” that was required in traditional marriages. The symbolic meaning of the sacrament of Marriage is that one must be in union with one’s own personality and spirit first. After one has a clear inner understanding of oneself, one can create a successful intimate partnership. The increase in divorce is therefore rooted directly in the opening of the 4th chakra, which draws people into self-discovery for the first time. Many people ascribe the breakdown of their marriage to the fact that their spouse had given them no support for their emotional, psychological, and intellectual needs, and as a result they had to seek out a true partnership.”
Based on my own personal experiences with divorce, I have found Caroline’s assessment to be accurate. I did not receive the emotional, psychological, and intellectual support that I needed and wanted in my marriages. I also experienced financial struggles just before and during the divorce process. However, when it came time to make the decision to ‘stay’ or ‘go’, I chose ‘go’ because it was more important for me to have the emotional support of a partner than financial. Initially, out of fear, my perceived lack of financial support would cause a delay in my decision to go. Soon enough however, I would realize that I can’t put a “price” on my happiness. Enter the archetype, Prostitute…
I think of archetypes as a symbolic representation of emotional, psychological, and behavioral patterns. One way of getting to know ourselves better, as well as our relationships with others and money, is through the energy of archetypes. When I go back to the question Terry posed, then take into consideration the wisdom of the 4th chakra, the energy of the Prostitute becomes obvious along with its guidance. The Prostitute “engages lessons in the sale or negotiation of your integrity or spirit based on fears of physical and material survival or for financial gain.” The Prostitute also relates to the need to create and refine self-respect and self-esteem. Anytime we compromise who we are, we are operating under the Shadow Prostitute. This can include the selling , or selling out, of our ideas and talents…even compromising your financial security by taking on someone else’s limiting beliefs about wealth and success.
More and more, women are discovering who they really are and what they really want. They are now asking “what about me?” “What do I want that will fill me with purpose and passion…and do I have enough sense of “self” to share it with a partner? There is nothing wrong in desiring financial abundance, independence, and success WITHIN a marriage. Be open with your partner, talk about what you want, vulnerability is inner strength. If you find that you are met with judgement, ridicule, or disrespect, then you must determine if your marriage can support your desires. Honor thyself first. Many times, your path of self-discovery and self-empowerment will inspire your partner to rise up and want the same.
The beauty of the light side of the Prostitute is that it shows us how to thrive in this life without having to negotiate the power of our spirit.